The TOP communication skills you need to nail to get your point across
We are joined by someone who lives and breathes communication - of all sorts:
written, verbal & non-verbal: Shelley Baird.
Shelley is a communications professional with two decades of experience across advertising, corporate comms, public relations and marketing strategy.
What does it take to communicate effectively?
· A clear, simple message that is relevant to your audience and the ability to listen.
o Clear – focus on one core message.
o Simple – use the least amount of words.
o Relevant – make sure you understand your audience and their needs.
The clear, simple and relevant message isn’t new, but it’s how I was trained to write radio advertising, and it’s been the basis for how I think about all of the communication and marketing work I’ve done.
Who am I talking to, and what is their problem?
While there are many, many communication models and theories, if you want to be effective, it helps to understand the most basic model, which is… I develop a message using my skills, experience and my various cultural filters, which I deliver to you.
Then you use your skills, experience and various cultural filters to interpret it.
Stepping up from this basic model… Good or effective communication is where I think about the person receiving the message and I tailor it for them. I stay focused on a clear, simple and relevant message.
The other way to look at this is the very old question of ‘What’s in it for me?’ How will the person you’re communicating with understand the benefit to them?
You also need to remember to pay attention to what is being communicated to you in response and ask questions to clarify your understanding.
My other tip for effective communication, because it’s a two-way process, is to give people the benefit of the doubt and be empathetic.
Know that effective communication isn’t always easy, and no one gets it right, 100 percent of the time. Make sure when you’re responding to communication, you’re doing exactly that – responding NOT reacting.
Don’t let anger or any other type of negative emotion dictate your response because that’s when it can all go wrong.
What are the differences between online and offline communication?
· For me, the differences between online and offline communication have narrowed in the last five years, because of the exponential increase in video and live social media posts.
· Previously, where communication in a digital channel might have been one way, i.e. I’ve written you an email, and I don’t get to see your immediate reaction when you read it, then the tone of the email is set by you, the recipient.
Which means, I need to work hard to keep the message very clear, simple and relevant to you.
· But now, I have options to send you a video link where you can see my face and hear my voice, and I have a higher degree of control over the tone.
I still need to keep my message clear, simple and relevant, but I can express excitement or enthusiasm through my tone as well as my words.
· The other big difference is the ability to get immediate feedback.
In person, it’s what is being said in response to what you’re saying, and it’s also the non-verbal cues, so facial expressions, the angle of someone’s body – are they facing you, leaning in, leaning away.
These are things you can observe face-to-face or on a video call, and you can adjust your message.
· In writing, you don’t have microsecond timing to get feedback. With social media and on email, the feedback may come in fast, or it may not come in at all. You can only respond when it does.
· So, no matter what mode you’re using, online or offline, make sure you’ve thought about the tone and the ability to get feedback and keep focusing on a clear, simple and relevant message.
What are some of the biggest comms mistakes to avoid?
Forgetting about your audience and how they will be digesting the communication. What they’ll be looking for is, ‘How is this relevant to me?’
Being too casual in early communication with people you don’t know, be it in person or on email.
Delivering bad news in writing. Always try to deliver bad news in person, either face-to-face or on the phone because you get to set the tone and you get immediate feedback.
In face-to-face communication, not listening and not reading visual cues.
Getting too caught up in what you want to say next and not listening to what is being said to you, or how someone is reacting to what you’re saying. This is where I see a lot of time and effort wasted.
Some of the biggest written communication mistakes:
o Going with your first draft. Always make time to review and make improvements.
o A good email habit is to write the first draft of an important email a word document and save it onto to your desktop.
When you’re happy with it, copy it to an email. It’s an extra five seconds that has saved me from accidentally sending an email before it was ready.
o Taking a long time to get to your point because you’re showing off your vocabulary and overexplaining things and using phrases like, ‘If I can say it another way’. Stop it.
o Overuse of ‘that’. A lot of documents today are written as people speak, which is great, but when you speak, you can use ‘that’ quite a lot without realising it. When this turns up in written form, it’s often redundant, and it ends up becoming very repetitive, which can be a distraction from your message.
o Using the phrase, ‘As per my previous email’ – this implies frustration and points out to people they’ve either made a mistake or missed something… and everyone’s done it. Making people feel stupid is not an effective way to communicate.
How to get started with writing content as an individual (for LinkedIn or a blog post) etc.)?
Go and read what is being written about the topic or the area you want to write about and look for the gaps because one of the gaps could be your point of difference.
Develop an understanding of the different ways people write. Some are quite formal; some are very informal and then decide where on this scale you want to sit so you can develop your own voice.
Practice writing your posts!
Write a few different posts and ask someone you trust to review them.
Apply their feedback, redraft and see how comfortable you are with this process. If you still want to write content, then decide on how often you want to post and figure out what topics you want to write about in advance. This planning step will help you identify any supporting or contradictory content.
And again, you’ll get sick of me saying this…keep your writing clear, simple and relevant. Figure out who is the ideal reader for your post and write for their situation.
Any tools or apps etc. you love to use?
I’m a complete word and grammar nerd, so tools such as Grammarly and ProWriting Aide are my favourites for identifying errors and problems with written content.
I know many people rely on the built-in spelling and grammar check in all the standard programs we all use, but you’ll be surprised what purpose-built tools will pick up.
If you are going to use something like this, make sure it can be set to the country you’re living and working in because grammar and spelling standards do differ from country to country.
What do we need to be mindful of when creating online profiles and the summary statement that goes with it?
Too much jargon and too many words.
It’s important to find the right balance between stating who you are as a professional and overwhelming people with what I call the ‘superhero’ profile where you’re left wondering how this person could do all of these things in one lifetime.
· Think about the essential pieces of information someone needs to know about you and your experience and build your profile from there.
What are some of the best ways to connect and communicate with new people?
Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic?
· A simple thing you can do to establish effective communication with someone new is figure out how they make sense of new information.
· Most people generally fall into one of three categories – Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic
In Person
· The best way to determine which category someone is in, is to ask them a question where they have to describe or recall something. You can do this in person or a on video call…
o Maybe, ‘How was your weekend?’
o Or if it’s a more professional setting and it’s appropriate, ‘What’s been the most positive change you’ve seen in the industry in the last five years?’
o Or something simple, ‘How’s your week going?
o Then watch where their eyes go while they’re thinking about it:
o If their eyes go up towards the ceiling or up towards the right or left – they are a visual person.
o If their eyes go out towards the side, kind of in line with their ears – they are an auditory person.
o If their eyes go down, be it to the floor, or something they’re holding in their hands – they are a kinaesthetic person.
· Once you know this, you can tailor some of the words you use when you’re talking or writing to them.
· Visual people will respond to words like – picture this, I see what you’re saying, imagine if, let me paint a picture, this illustrates, here’s an outline, this shows. Visual people also respond well to images, graphs and infographics.
· Auditory people will respond to – I hear what you’re saying, did you hear, it sounds like, let me explain, can you describe it, let’s discuss. Auditory people are talkers, so they’re often the best people to call instead of email.
· Kinaesthetic people will respond to – I feel, this is not the touchy-feely emotional type feelings, although for some people it will be. Kinaesthetic people learn by doing, they learn through experiences. So, phrases such as I understand you feel, in your experience, I can demonstrate, all work well as does using real-life examples or case studies. Kinaesthetic people learn by doing, so any type of hands-on experience you can offer them will be more effective.
· All of these key words will also show up in writing. If someone uses a lot of ‘I see’ ‘I can’t picture’, they are most likely a visual person. Same thing for auditory and kinaesthetic people – they will use their relevant key words when they write.
· It’s also good to get someone you trust to ask you to describe something so you can determine your style. This will help you interpret the communication coming to you. For example, I know I’m a kinaesthetic person so when I worked in financial services and someone sent me a complex chart, the first thing I would do is call them and ask them to walk me through the chart. And that is honestly the phrase I would use, ‘walk’ because I need to experience it.
· Above all – stay focused on your new connection and remember communication is a two-way process. If your new connection is doing the same thing, you could end up having a great conversation, no matter what channel you’re using!
If you’ve been introduced to someone and connected with them on LinkedIn, i.e. you’re NOT cold calling this person but you’re already connected through someone else
· Start small and understand people’s time is very limited.
· Don’t send a long message, don’t ask for an hour of their time. Send a brief message, be transparent about why you’re contacting them and if you want to talk to them on the phone, ask for 15 minutes of their time because that might be much easier for them than trading emails.
· If they accept your request and your invitation to chat, write a list of questions in advance and then prioritise those questions, but don’t delete any. You want to be able to keep asking questions for as long as your new connection wants to talk.
Summary
To be effective with your communication:
o Develop a clear, simple and relevant message
o Stay focused on your audience
o Take the time to listen
o Observe what is coming back to you and ask questions
o Don’t ever press send on your first draft – I did at least three, maybe four drafts of my responses to your questions before today, ran them past my husband and then made some more changes. And then went back and took out all the unnecessary uses of ‘that’!
